Howdy there, partner! Let me fix my ole' dusty hat and tell ya the tale of modern-day billionaires wranglin' the federal agencies like they were cattles that's forgotten the taste of freedom. Yessiree, since that cowboy Trump rode into town, a stampede of folks tied to Elon Musk, Peter Thiel, Marc Andreessen, and Palmer Luckey have galloped into those federal posts, funnelin' them precious contracts to their rodeo buddies faster than a jackrabbit on a hot griddle.

Ya see, since the Trump posse took office, them shiny tech companies owned or watered by our billionaire ranchers bagged about a dozen federal contracts. Now, you might reckon that's about six billion greenbacks, which is more than a small fortune when you're knee-deep in horse dung.

Now, these folks gettin' plugged into roles where they’re regulatin’ and awardin’ business ain’t sittin’ right, kinda like puttin' a rattlesnake on your lap, could sure spell trouble. Makin' sure them conflict of interests don't rear their ugly heads, and government ethics stays as honest as mah wife, bless her ornery heart.

Now it ain't rare to put yer trusty steed in a good position, but Musk 'n them folks have moved faster than a greased pig at a county fair on this front. TechCrunch's been jawin' 'bout how his kin joined up at the DOGE corral, slashed through workforces, shutterin' agencies faster than ol' Betsy the family mule unfastenin' gates at morning feedin' time.

Appointing Cowboys of the Silicon Prairie

In Trump’s days, which were wilder than gobbling down chili on a desert night, them extra ethics checks n’ balances were given the boot quicker than my horse, Sarsaparilla, kicks a rattler. Well, it opens the gate for folks to mosey on into matters ticklin’ their purses, like offerin’ cigars to cacti—never a good idea.

Some folks argue that Musk's and Thiel’s deserved a seat at this campfire. These fellas might know their way 'round innovation as quick as you can say “broke a wild bronc,” but when favoritism stamps out competition? Now that’s tighter than a rattlesnake in a sugar sack!

Regulations and The Trail of Lament

Here’s the rub: when government policy becomes a ditty sung to pad the wallets of yonder tech overlords, it's like my missus chargin' her good ladle over my noggin for drinkin' milk out of the bottle; it just ain't right!

Take the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, fer instance. They high-tailed outta making rules for them data brokers when privacy concerns were hotter than a cast iron skillet at noon. It’s a rodeo of AI, surveillance, and all that digital mumbo-jumbo that dodges the rules of the plains.

The Quadruple Cabal of Metals & Circuits

To sum it up, it’s a tangled web of highvelutin' tech cowboys and their entourages scattered across our proud bureaucracy—kinda like them tumbleweeds that roll but never settle, always skirtin' toward a steady cash corral.

Them companies, whether SpaceX journeyin' among the starry skies or Palantir poking its metal snout into the pockets of the Defense Department, keep on keepin' on, like stubborn storm clouds over the desert horizon. Ol’ Anduril’s been swingin' them lassos in them contracts bigger than the hat on my cousin Jeb's head.

Well, TechCrunch’s tryn' to rouse Anduril, Andreessen Horowitz, Palantir, 'n SpaceX fer a word, like a rooster crowin' at the crack o’ dawn. Because lettin' wealth n' power concentrate like salt in a pot o' grits ain't doin' our economy any favors, friend. It’s ripe for when the competition gets snuffed quicker than a lone candle in a Texas thunderstorm.